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Post by Mad Dog on Oct 15, 2008 17:43:06 GMT -5
I had a first date on Sunday afternoon and it went very well but then it went south fast. I asked when we could get together again and she said next Sunday. I balked because it because I really liked her and didn't want to wait a whole seven days to see her again. I changed her mind and we set a new date for Monday. I also invited her to travel to my hometown Thursday night to watch my nephew play football. She said maybe, she'd have to see.
About an hour before before our second date was supposed to commence she called to cancel. Her reason was because her 15 year old son hadn't gotten his homework done over the weekend and she felt compelled to stay home and help him. I was disappointed, but she said she would make it up to me. So we rescheduled our second date until Tuesday.
About an hour before we saw each other on our second date Tuesday, She called to inform me that her and her son had an emotional talk, that he didn't want to be alone, and that he'd be coming with us, if I didn't mind. He would bring a video game an set and wait in the car. I said "OK, I suppose" but I wasn't really happy about it.
I went to the restaurant where we were to meet, and I met her son, and except for a few minutes, he did sit in the car. Our second date didn't really have the spark the first one did. But it went ok. I asked her if she had given any thought to the football game I invited her to and she said no because she was worried about leaving her 15 year old alone for a few hours. As we left the restaurant she told me to call her before I went to bed.
So when I did call her, somewhere in our conversation I told her that I wasn't sure if she was ready yet for a relationship. And the next day she dumped me. Can somebody please tell me what just happened here?
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Post by Torque on Oct 15, 2008 19:35:59 GMT -5
Sorry man, that sounds rather fishy and light on closure. Unless she explains to you in the future what really happened between date one and date two it's hard to make educated assumptions but I will say that it seems she was looking for an "excuse" to take a backwards step from you and she intentionally/unintentionally used her son. It just seems weird, maybe something is really going on with the kid, but a normal 15year old would LOVE to be home alone for a little, hell more than a little. Maybe you were too gung-ho to her and she felt pressured. I guess it may have been for the best because a football game even if you don't like football is a rather stress-free type of date. I hope something works out for you
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Post by 0rz0ski on Oct 15, 2008 20:20:48 GMT -5
Aw, man, that sucks. I pretty much agree with Torque, and if she was willing to use her kid to backpedal in the relationship instead of telling you directly, she probably wasn't worth keeping anyway. Ditto on hoping something works out for you.
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Post by FUCKTARD ! on Oct 15, 2008 21:06:32 GMT -5
Forget her man, move on.
The best advice I've ever gotten about dealing with a break up:
The best way to get over someone old, is to get under someone new.
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Post by Allyson on Oct 15, 2008 21:17:03 GMT -5
First impressions are often misleading and as such, even though you really liked her at first, it sounds to me like it's a good thing you got out when you did. She seems like a weirdo and is way insecure and she definitely isn't ready for a relationship. Call her back in 3 years if she lets her son goes away to college.
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Post by landmammaldolphin on Oct 16, 2008 7:53:26 GMT -5
Bitchez be crazy! On a serious note, Torque summed up exactly what I would have said. She felt uncomfortable on the second date and used her son as a buffer/excuse. You don't need that. Don't worry, when the time is right, you'll find the right gal.
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Post by FUSTERCLUCK on Oct 16, 2008 9:17:32 GMT -5
To small of a dick and to small of a wallet.
She used the kid card to get herself out quickly.
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Post by Queenie on Oct 16, 2008 9:36:02 GMT -5
Nice Trogdor.
Maddog, don't think another thing about this woman. Chalk it up to experience and don't carry it to the next lady you date. When it's right, you'll know it. I know you've talked about the fact that you wanted to date, and I'm sure this is one of your first few. Don't be so eager to jump into a relationship. People our age tend to want to find someone and settle down immediately, or at least spend every waking moment with them. That can be very intimidating to someone who has been alone for a period longer than you have and enjoys their own space. Good luck in your quest. I'm sure Ms. Right is waiting around the corner.
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Post by fetusfacedwindbag on Oct 16, 2008 10:42:29 GMT -5
I think that there are several problems with the situation....
....but in the words of the great LeVar Burton....Don't take my word for it.
First mess up. You totally tried to be pushy too soon. I know you wanted to see her again, but you could've waited a week after the first date....at least longer than one day.
2 - I don't know how far away you two live from each other, but why couldn't you drive to her instead of the other way around?
3 - You let her son sit in the car while the two of you ate dinner. I don't know about every woman in the world, but if I was a woman and had a son, I would totally not want you in my life if you weren't willing to bring my son in to eat as well. If you wanted time alone, you should have waited until there was a day that her son had other things to do ro something.
- You could've offered to cook for her at her house/ your house.
- Women like romantic things. A football game? That sounds totally like at least a fourth date activity to me. You've got to do romantic things for them....at least in the beginning. Even atypical girls like to be treated like queens.
- You seemed to play the "needy" type according to your story, and most women don't want that at all ....from what I understand.
Ok. Now disregard everything I said, and take the advice of the women because they truly know what women think.
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Post by plungerhand on Oct 16, 2008 10:51:41 GMT -5
Should have taken her to a sports bar and played ping pong....But, don't let her win.
workseverytime
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Post by Queenie on Oct 16, 2008 10:52:58 GMT -5
Should have taken her to a sports bar and played ping pong....But, don't let her win. workseverytime+1 |
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Post by potthole on Oct 16, 2008 10:55:26 GMT -5
The saying that it happens when you least expect it is so very true. When I met my wife, I had basically decided to blow off dating and relationships. I had tried to force the issue for awhile and nothing seemed to turn out. Coming into the summer one year I just decided I'd take a break for dating for awhile, and then boom, a couple months later, here comes this wonderful woman into my life.
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Post by plungerhand on Oct 16, 2008 10:58:39 GMT -5
The saying that it happens when you least expect it is so very true. When I met my wife, I had basically decided to blow off dating and relationships. I had tried to force the issue for awhile and nothing seemed to turn out. Coming into the summer one year I just decided I'd take a break for dating for awhile, and then boom, a couple months later, here comes this wonderful woman into my life. Could not agree more. That's exactly how it happens. Sounds stupid, but the minute you stop looking for it, there it is. |
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Post by Queenie on Oct 16, 2008 11:00:40 GMT -5
The saying that it happens when you least expect it is so very true. When I met my wife, I had basically decided to blow off dating and relationships. I had tried to force the issue for awhile and nothing seemed to turn out. Coming into the summer one year I just decided I'd take a break for dating for awhile, and then boom, a couple months later, here comes this wonderful woman into my life. That's exactly how it happened for me and Plungee. We both had "sworn" off dating, and it probably helped that we weren't looking for the "right one". It took some of the pressure off to make this one right, and look what happened! We celebrate our one year anniversary next month!! |
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Post by Fistor on Oct 16, 2008 11:01:05 GMT -5
The girl clothes buying Muppet fanatic wins this thread.
Move on dog. Next time don't be so desperate.
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Post by landmammaldolphin on Oct 16, 2008 11:14:58 GMT -5
The saying that it happens when you least expect it is so very true. When I met my wife, I had basically decided to blow off dating and relationships. I had tried to force the issue for awhile and nothing seemed to turn out. Coming into the summer one year I just decided I'd take a break for dating for awhile, and then boom, a couple months later, here comes this wonderful woman into my life. My wife and I went to HS together but didn't really know eachother. Both our Mothers were teachers together and kept trying to hook us up. We had both just come off of breakups and didn't want to start dating again. We agreed that we couldn't take our parent's hounding anymore and decided to go out 1 time to get them off of our backs.....She never left my side after that date. It was relaxed and easy going. No strings attached, just dinner and a movie. We have been married for going on 7 years and have rarely left eachothers side. I am always happy to admit that she is the best thing that has ever happened to me (as well as my daughter) and we have all of that from 1 outing that wasn't a "date" and was meant to just get our parents off of our backs. It's funny how things like that work out! |
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Post by fetusfacedwindbag on Oct 16, 2008 11:17:06 GMT -5
The girl clothes buying Muppet fanatic wins this thread. Move on dog. Next time don't be so desperate. You sure have been awarding me wins a lot. Maybe next time I'll think a little harder before I tell you that you didn't win a thread. |
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Post by Fistor on Oct 16, 2008 11:18:44 GMT -5
The girl clothes buying Muppet fanatic wins this thread. Move on dog. Next time don't be so desperate. You sure have been awarding me wins a lot. Yes. This makes one in a row now. Good work. |
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Post by fetusfacedwindbag on Oct 16, 2008 11:20:30 GMT -5
i think it's two.....maybe that was someone else. Oh well.
Way to pay attention fetus.
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Post by Mad Dog on Oct 16, 2008 14:46:25 GMT -5
I don't have alot of time right because of the football game tonight, but I think I actually have a written transcript of e-mails that we sent to each other at the time I last spoke to her, and if you guys would like to read them, I'll see if I can post them. It probably would explain everything.
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Post by fetusfacedwindbag on Oct 16, 2008 14:48:56 GMT -5
I don't have alot of time right because of the football game tonight, but I think I actually have a written transcript of e-mails that we sent to each other at the time I last spoke to her, and if you guys would like to read them, I'll see if I can poat them. It probably would explain everything. You are totally over analyzing this. You should move on. This one didn't work out, and if you try too hard, you're going to scare her away even more. |
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Post by Fistor on Oct 16, 2008 14:52:31 GMT -5
I don't have alot of time right because of the football game tonight, but I think I actually have a written transcript of e-mails that we sent to each other at the time I last spoke to her, and if you guys would like to read them, I'll see if I can post them. It probably would explain everything. Nope. Time to move on. |
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Post by Howie Feltersnatch on Oct 16, 2008 14:55:46 GMT -5
I don't have alot of time right because of the football game tonight, but I think I actually have a written transcript of e-mails that we sent to each other at the time I last spoke to her, and if you guys would like to read them, I'll see if I can post them. It probably would explain everything. Nope. Time to move on. agreed. i haven't read this entire thread as all i do is follow and read fistor's posts all day. but what I say is that you weren't together for very long and she's probably not worth all the headache you are causing yourself. with the housing market the way it is it'll be easy as hell to get a chick to move in with you anyway |
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Post by elranito on Oct 16, 2008 15:44:31 GMT -5
The fact that you even made this post is part of the problem. You care waaaay too much and are trying waaaay too hard.
Try not being so transparent.
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Post by The Biff Lebowski on Oct 16, 2008 19:16:49 GMT -5
If you like Asian women........my wife has a friend......
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Post by Mad Dog on Oct 16, 2008 21:54:14 GMT -5
The fact that you even made this post is part of the problem. You care waaaay too much and are trying waaaay too hard. Try not being so transparent. Actually you've hit my personality right on the button, since I've always been this way, I don't know how to be any other way. |
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Post by Mad Dog on Oct 16, 2008 22:04:43 GMT -5
I don't have alot of time right because of the football game tonight, but I think I actually have a written transcript of e-mails that we sent to each other at the time I last spoke to her, and if you guys would like to read them, I'll see if I can poat them. It probably would explain everything. You are totally over analyzing this. You should move on. This one didn't work out, and if you try too hard, you're going to scare her away even more. Oh shes totally gone. When I posted this I was kinda pissed, not so much at her but the situation. I'm not analyzing this so I can try to get her back. A break up after two dates, I'm not even that stupid. Honestly, I didn't know what to think, I just wanted to know what you guys had to think. And thank you, I've got some things to chew on. |
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Post by Mad Dog on Oct 16, 2008 22:07:50 GMT -5
To small of a dick and to small of a wallet. She used the kid card to get herself out quickly. Well at least you've got small of wallet and kid card right. Two out of three aint bad. |
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Post by Mad Dog on Oct 16, 2008 22:11:41 GMT -5
Nice Trogdor. Maddog, don't think another thing about this woman. Chalk it up to experience and don't carry it to the next lady you date. When it's right, you'll know it. I know you've talked about the fact that you wanted to date, and I'm sure this is one of your first few. Don't be so eager to jump into a relationship. People our age tend to want to find someone and settle down immediately, or at least spend every waking moment with them. That can be very intimidating to someone who has been alone for a period longer than you have and enjoys their own space. Good luck in your quest. I'm sure Ms. Right is waiting around the corner. Thanks Queenie, your exactly right and thats great advice. +1 |
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Post by Fistor on Oct 17, 2008 7:52:59 GMT -5
I've got some things to chew on. There inlies the problem. Stop overthinking. Or at least letting the wimmens know that you're an overthinker-obsessive type. Just chillax. |
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