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Post by Mad Dog on Oct 17, 2008 8:06:31 GMT -5
I've got some things to chew on. There inlies the problem. Stop overthinking. Or at least letting the wimmens know that you're an overthinker-obsessive type. Just chillax. More very good advice, I'll think about it for a while and get back with you. lol Seriously, it's really hard to change your root nature. And I hate fakeing it. I guess thats why I like Freebeer and Hotwings so much. There not fake. I always try to show people the real me, whether its on the message boards or in person. Sometimes it works, sometimes it dosen't |
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Post by Fistor on Oct 17, 2008 8:16:49 GMT -5
There inlies the problem. Stop overthinking. Or at least letting the wimmens know that you're an overthinker-obsessive type. Just chillax. More very good advice, I'll think about it for a while and get back with you. lol Seriously, it's really hard to change your root nature. And I hate fakeing it. I guess thats why I like Freebeer and Hotwings so much. There not fake. I always try to show people the real me, whether its on the message boards or in person. Sometimes it works, sometimes it dosen't Understood. I'm not saying you have to change who you are, because that's pretty much impossible. I'm just saying you should kinda put a cap on it when you're first getting to know someone. Or at the very least, tell her that sometimes you find it difficult to not experience paralysis by analysis, and it's something that you're working on. That makes you seem intelligent and self-aware, as well as vulnerable to a point. People know people are flawed, and no one likes people who try to portray themselves as perfect, so I wouldn't be shy about mentioning this when you're in the get-to-know-someone stages. But then do everything you can to not obsess. Talk about how you're working on it, but don't show it. Like I said, chillax. Outwardly. Inwardly you'll be the Guns of the Navarone. And that's cool. |
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Post by elranito on Oct 17, 2008 8:20:49 GMT -5
There inlies the problem. Stop overthinking. Or at least letting the wimmens know that you're an overthinker-obsessive type. Just chillax. More very good advice, I'll think about it for a while and get back with you. lol Seriously, it's really hard to change your root nature. And I hate fakeing it. I guess thats why I like Freebeer and Hotwings so much. There not fake. I always try to show people the real me, whether its on the message boards or in person. Sometimes it works, sometimes it dosen't Fake it for long enough and it is who you will be and sometimes that isn't a bad thing. Like Kurt Vonnegut said, "We are what we pretend to be". Change isn't easy, especially not after being one way for so long. However, you simply have to be willing to make a conscious decision and stick with it even when you feel like saying things you know are probably best kept to yourself. After a while it will become easier and eventually it will be natural. You'd be amazed what can be accomplished with a little dedication and willpower. |
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Post by airhornahole on Oct 17, 2008 8:23:10 GMT -5
More very good advice, I'll think about it for a while and get back with you. lol Seriously, it's really hard to change your root nature. And I hate fakeing it. I guess thats why I like Freebeer and Hotwings so much. There not fake. I always try to show people the real me, whether its on the message boards or in person. Sometimes it works, sometimes it dosen't Fake it for long enough and it is who you will be and sometimes that isn't a bad thing. Like Kurt Vonnegut said, "We are what we pretend to be". Change isn't easy, especially not after being one way for so long. However, you simply have to be willing to make a conscious decision and stick with it even when you feel like saying things you know are probably best kept to yourself. After a while it will become easier and eventually it will be natural. You'd be amazed what can be accomplished with a little dedication and willpower. Plus, you might want to rub one out before the date, ala "Something about Mary". Just make sure to check your ear. No seriously, it sounds like you just need to relax. |
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Post by Mad Dog on Oct 17, 2008 22:45:46 GMT -5
Fake it for long enough and it is who you will be and sometimes that isn't a bad thing. Like Kurt Vonnegut said, "We are what we pretend to be". Change isn't easy, especially not after being one way for so long. However, you simply have to be willing to make a conscious decision and stick with it even when you feel like saying things you know are probably best kept to yourself. After a while it will become easier and eventually it will be natural. You'd be amazed what can be accomplished with a little dedication and willpower. Plus, you might want to rub one out before the date, ala "Something about Mary". Just make sure to check your ear. No seriously, it sounds like you just need to relax. Before you date.... Masturbate!! Another good Idea!! You make it sound like i was holding her down and sticking my tongue in her ear. Actually I only got two hugs and didn't even kiss her. Didn't even get to first base. I actually consciencely thought about taking this (potential) relationship very slowly (for me). because I honestly didn't want to scare her away. But she didn't treat me very well by bringing her kid and I realized early that she wasn't really ready for the type of relationship I had in mind for us, so I called her on it. Thats what broke it up.  |
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Post by Torque on Oct 18, 2008 10:37:46 GMT -5
I agree with the calming down advice, but not with the faking it/toning down yourself. Instead of repressing I think it would be better to figure out WHY you do what you do. i.e. you not wanting to wait a whole week for a second date may not be because you are inherently an impatient and quickly swooning individual, you may just have issues feeling pressured that if you don't "capture" someone quickly you may lose the chance or something. Just try to be more confident in that taking your time and letting things happen naturally, someone good for you will be understanding enough to not hurry or get to certain "stages" by certain deadlines, because you should want it to take the rest of your lives to learn about and be interested in each other. There's no disappearing pumpkin and fall of cinderella at midnight.
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Post by Mad Dog on Oct 18, 2008 14:48:17 GMT -5
Well, I certainly am pretty sick of being alone. And I'm also sick of having dud relationships. I don't think I'm desperate, but I don't know, I don't have to deal with me. Lets put it this way, I try to act cool and not desperate. There is a fine line between being aggressive and being desperate. My son told me the other day "The easiest thing you will ever do in life is scare away a girl" I think it is wisdom beyond his years. But....some girls LIKE aggressive guys.  Almost no girl will ask a guy out, and thats the way it is. Guys ask the Girls. And who ever brings it the best wins. |
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